Just like many others, I form an opinion. I kind of have a rule about opinions. This one is mine, that one is yours. Sometimes they match, sometimes they don't. When they do match, great, when they don't, great. Different opinions get us to talk, get us to share our thinking, different views. Lay your reasons down and lets discuss. If we don't agree, assuming that because we do not agree one person is right and the other is wrong, is a horrible thing. If we all had the same opinions... what the heck would we talk about?
That said.
My husband and I are raising three boys. They are not old enough yet for social media accounts, most morning talk shows or TV shows that are on after 6. They are old enough to ask why. Why is everyone talking about Miley Cyrus? Why do girls make kissing faces in pictures? Why?
What I have to say, others have said. They've said it better, I'm sure of it. This has been on my mind so much lately that well I'm letting it go here. There's actully two articles that have been at the top of my thinking list.
The show that was put on by Miley Cyrus AND Robin Thicke.If you've been able to avoid reading/hearing about it, I am literally giving you a standing ovation right now. Okay, first off this is not the first kind of show like this. What are we surprised about? It was a VMA performance. We are shocked though, maybe because the little Miley is not so little anymore? We should be shocked that this is the way most music videos are, all the time. Okay I'm getting way off track. The thing that has shocked me is there are two people here, Cyrus and Thicke. The person that seems to be getting all the blame, Cyrus. Why, cause she actually had the harder dance moves that Thicke? The article that I've agreed with most so far is How to Talk to Your Sons About Robin Thicke. Please don't just skim over the link, read the post.
Two big things from this article that I want to quote.
"We need to call bullsh*t on attempts to end domestic violence and misogyny towards women by only talking to our daughters."
Can I just get an AMEN BROTHER on that!
"It starts in homes. It starts in small conversations that treat all people as worthy and equal. It starts with having the courage to speak out against the wide variety of forces in our society that objectify women."
I'll admit this now, I bought the song Blurred Lines. I love the rhythm to it, I didn't listen to the words. I'm guilty. Am I happy about that, no, but that's the truth of it for you. Would I be devastated if my son started singing "I know you want it", ABSOLUTELY.
Did I personally think the show was a little strange.... yes. That's what apparently our society as a whole wants to watch though. In no way was that just Cyrus up there dancing by herself. That was a grown man... umm... thrusting (gross, I think I have a new word I never want to type) at, in, towards (I never want to type these things again) a young girl. Where are the comments on that?!
We want men that treat women as their equal. Then we need to start it. We need to talk to our boys about why Thicke was just as silly looking up there as Cyrus. Again, silly in my opinion. Others might have not had a problem with the whole thing.
Shortly after reading this article I read FYI (if you're a teenage girl). Take a moment and read it.
I'm pretty sure that this article was written out of love and interest in raising her children. I give that a high five, cause yes, in the world we live in there are parents that don't bother. I agree in monitoring your children's media accounts. Someday our boys will have these accounts and when they do they will be monitored, that's something I feel we should do. Some parents don't and I would strongly disagree with this decision.
I haven't seen said picture that is described in the article, and I don't need to. I'm pretty sure we've all seen a picture out there that we wonder... what would your Mom say if she saw you post that? Could you hang that on your wall in your home and be okay with everyone seeing it? Are you okay with the world seeing it? Maybe the world is a little far fetched but putting it on the internet, pretty much seals that deal. Girls do need to be aware that yes putting sexy, full boobed pictures up on FB accounts is hot, we get it. Is that the message you want out there though? I was a young girl... a long time ago. I went through that stage. Do I agree that hiding these photos from boys all together is helpful, no. Boys need to be aware of photos that they post as well. The no shirt sweaty muscle pictures... why does no one comment on that? Boy or girl, at some point they will hit the sexual stage... hopefully not like Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke, but it will happen.
The article to me wasn't about telling girls to dress like a nun. To me it wasn't about boys having to marry an upstanding Christian girl and by posting bikini pictures they aren't one. Yes, these are what some people got out of the article. The article to me, was one mom writing about being aware about what you are putting out there. That's something that young or old, boy or girl, singer icon or not, we all need to be aware of, period. Boys are as responsible for their actions just as girls are for theirs. Our society, putting it all on the girl has got to stop, I could not agree more.
The first thing that I posted on FB about this post was "Raising three boys here and all I have to say to this is... AMEN Mrs. Hall!!!". I got a few likes and didn't think anything else on it. Until a few dear friends posted some reply posts. The girls that posted are amazing women, I mean amazing! They both have made a beautiful life journey, seriously, they both have me in awe.
LOVED reading Seeing a Woman, wow. Seriously take a moment to read that, way to go Dads out there that have had or going to have this talk or Moms that will have this talk with their sons (I'm taking notes... for my hubby, kidding... kind of).
"They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex. I'm not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I'm telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don't look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being."
They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
- See more at: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.UkskT838.dpuf
The second post was more of a reply post to Mrs. Hall's post, Dear Mrs. Hall, Regarding Your "FYI (if you're a teenage girl)"... . I'm not sure that I agree with everything in this post, mainly because I didn't view the original post, Mrs. Hall's, to read the way the reply post was written. Whew, that was a tricky sentence. I LOVED that the reply post was written so respectfully though!
I would most adamantly agree with Beth on second chances. There is no limit on that one for anyone at any age, period!
The next is this,
"We see you, sweetheart. We do. We see what you’re writing. We see what you’re posting. We see more of you than you think we do. We see sometimes down to the very center of your soul. And what you need to know is this: You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are worthy. You are your physical body, and you are so very much more. And you, baby girl, have infinite chances for grace and redemption and relationship and community and wholeness and LOVE. Always. Always and forever. Amen."
Only instead of baby girl, can it just be baby?
What am I getting at? Talk. Talk to your children about appropriate. I said children, boy or girl. Talk to your girls about respecting boys and girls. Talk to your boys about respecting girls and boys. Talk to them about respecting themselves. Respect each other man or woman knowing that we all have our struggles. I'm not saying a girl who wiggles in a tight shirt doesn't respect herself. I'm saying find who you are and be true to that. Don't do something just to get likes on FB or a song that might get recognition. Boys, don't put on shorts and no shirt and slather on baby oil and pretend to be something you really aren't just for a picture to get a girls attention. That attention is in the wrong frame of mind. Growing up is hard to do. You've been there but today's kids do have a lot more influences coming at them.
I'm also saying, thank you to all the people that did post! Agree or disagree these parents are involved with their children's upbringing and they were brave enough to hit publish.
So there. That's what has been weighing on my mind. It might not be everything that I wanted to say and it might not be the exact right way I wanted to say. Heck, it might not even make complete since. I've tried re-reading this multiple times and I keep adding more thoughts on.
So to my sisters and brothers out there, carry each other in respect for one another. Most importantly hold your respect for you. That's something we all need to do a little more of.
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