I'm fine.

You know when people ask you how you are… you just reply “Good”… “I’m fine" (my personal favorite)…”It’s been better”. You ever get someone to honestly say horrible? I mean usually they hesitate at first “Oh… I’m good”. You know you usually have to pry it out a little. Can you imagine what you would say if everyone were brutally honest. “Life sucks and your shoes are ugly.” Dude! What the F would you say then?!?
I had someone ask me that... It was in one of those moments that I really wanted to say... “Life sucks”. I didn’t I smiled and said “Doing good dude. How ‘bout you?”

Shortly after getting the how are you question and avoiding it like the plague I listened to some music. Music, has been a part of my family’s life for forever… sort of a better or for worse thang going on there. A lot of times it was for worse. I didn’t want to have anything to do with music because music… can so often relate parts of life with songs. A song can remind you of a person, place, event, feeling, taste, smell and on and on. So I denied myself of ever wanting to have an attachment to that. In that I denied a lot of me.

I can no longer deny that connection now. LOL! I KNOW, that sounds very corny I know just bare with me. Fast forward many moons (NO I will not tell you how many) I have three amazing boyz and one truly remarkable man. Watching them is beautiful. They are a song in motion. Sometimes slow and peaceful… and many, MANY times fast and absolutely hilarious. Seriously FAST & HILARIOUS, sort of like a Crazy Frog thing going on.

Every now and then I am lucky enough to catch that one song that is summing up my moment in life. Today as I clicked on that never ending purchased playlist on the ol’ iPhone. Insert >>>I may or may not have a small addiction to iTunes (thank you Amy) that is all. >>> A few songs played that just made me take a step back.

The first song… Bob Marley; Three Little Birds… brought the boyz and I through some really rough times. Every time it plays I know what strong little men they are. It reminds me to just be grateful for every spilt glass of milk, every lost shoe in the morning, every wet bed… don’t worry.

The second song… Green Day; Good Riddance… life is unpredictable. I have memories, photographs, tattoos… and in the end it all seems right.

As all that was unfolding for me another song came on… MercyMe; I Can Only Imagine. That song is, it’s just beautiful.

I have an wonderful, outstanding, beautiful life. Don’t be jealous, but I do. Don’t misunderstand me if I had to pick a song for a day to day thing… I’m sure would be a Spongebob or Veggietales song. Rock Monster or some way over played song that is on non-stop. It made me think about past, present and future. And when it all came together it just gave me this moment of peace. I know where I have been, I know where I am at, and I am truly excited for what is to come.

I can say this now from the bottom of my heart that when people do ask me how I am I can truly respond with... What a wonderful life.

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations. Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on, Pooped on, Chewed on, Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night. Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom. Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body… I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy. Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom. May you always be overwhelmed by the Grace of God rather than by the cares of life.