Annoying Parent Questions/Comments

I have this list of annoying questions/comments that run through my head as a parent. Typically when another parent is standing by me and one of these questions gets asked they sort of do the eye roll with me so I know that other parents are annoyed with them too.

1. Are you done? I have yet to figure out how to answer this one. Maybe we are maybe we aren't. Maybe we want 20 kids, we don't. BUT it literally doesn't involve you. If I answer yes or no what comment are you going to make to follow that up with?

2. Do you know how this happens? Ha ha you are funny. No, please enlighten me. The fact is hubby and I know and apparently we are really good at it so shove off.

3. Are you going to try for a girl? Prepared to have your eyeballs scratched out. Yes, I would have loved a little girl, it wasn't in the cards. Are you still trying to loose that extra 20 lbs? Oh, sore topic huh. 

4. You look good for having three children. If these were in order this would be my personal top annoying comment. It's like saying "Oh, you look good for having an alien attack you". It's a compliment without being a compliment. Shut your face.

5. You know you can adopt. Really. The thing is to make this comment you need to know that you know nothing about us. So let me give you a little info, we are in the midst of adopting. We are a part of a non-for profit organization for foster children. This comment, whether we are able to adopt or make babies is a pretty harsh statement. My only advise is you should not talk.

6. Were they all planned? Well let me show you a diagram of how my reproductive organs had it plotted out. The thing is I also feel like this is a pretty rude question friend or foe. Did you plan on growing up and making rude comments or did it just come naturally to you?

7. Why didn't you use protection? Again, let me show you how my reproductive system works. A, because it's obviously your business. B, if the good Lord wants you to have a baby and you are practicing... you are going to have a baby.

8. Are they all really yours? Well... that one is... I don't know where that one came from... I think that one looks familiar, yep he is ours too... that one keeps showing up to be fed so I guess he's ours too. Yes, they are all ours. And I'm going to over look the fact that you chose to use the word 'really' in that question.

9. You have how many in your family? So you can't count? I realize our society is all about having one child, I personally think, if at all possible you should have at least two. Siblings are the best/awful. The fact is though big families are the bees knees.

10. Do they have the same Dad/Mom/parents? Yep, I have been asked this. I would like to take this time to tell you how ignorant this question is. No matter what blood runs through their veins they have the same parents. We, my husband and I are their "real" parents. We feed, cloth, bath, go to every sporting/school/scouting/extracurricular event, kiss every boo-boo, loose sleep over, cry over, laugh over and love them unconditionally. You're welcome I didn't slap you. This question... should really just be stricken out of any questions ever asked.