The rules are pretty simple. One word. Five minutes of writing. No editing.
I've noticed the last few weeks that I have closed myself off. I'm blocking out my emotions from others to see. Part of me knows why and the other part just wants to pretend that it's not happening... again.
Fear and sadness are my shutdowns. Either of those emotion start to creep up and I start blocking everything out. My husband says it's my wall, pretty accurate, I'll give him that. I start building this wall and before I know it I've completely closed everyone out.
Sometimes it's a good thing. I block everyone out and the only person that I let in is God. It's refreshing. Then little by little I open the hole in the wall a bit more, my husband, my children, my friends, my family.
I'm not saying it's always a good thing. I think these are my weakest times too. When I close up and build my wall I know Satin is also waiting to strike. Spewing nasty little lies in my ear that I believe, 'look how lonely you are', 'look how no one cares', 'no one even knows'.
It's in those moments though that I can put my hand out and know that if I seek him he will fill my cup. Sometimes it takes a lot for me to remember how close his love is to me.
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